Operators Manual

SUMMER FUN

INVENTORY NOTE: DEAD CLOWN PLATE ROOM BACK STOCK. REASON: “CONDITIONAL ACCEPTED. COULD BE LESS FUN.” ALSO: GPOY

INVENTORY NOTE: DEAD CLOWN PLATE ROOM REJECT. REASON: “TOO REALISTIC.” UNEXPLAINED NOTE ON BACK: “COME HOME TO DADDY, LITTLE TIMMY.”

FOUND IN THE SUPPLY CLOSET OF A MYSTERIOUSLY FAILED BUSINESS VENTURE

SCIENTISTS CONCLUDED THERE WAS DIGITAL MANIPULATION, HOWEVER DEBATE RAGES ON THE INTERNET

FINAL PAGE OF A MYSTERIOUSLY INCOMPLETE TOP-SECRET REPORT

INVENTORY NOTE: DEAD CLOWN PLATE ROOM REJECT. REASON: “TOO UPLIFTING.” SEE NOTE ON REAR OF PLATE, UNEXPLAINED: “LITTLE TIMMY’S ADVENTURES CONTINUE.”

NSA TRANSCRIPT: FIRST CELL PHONE CONVERSATION

Voice 1: I’m calling you… from my car!

Voice 2: What?

Voice 1: (garbled) my fucking car! Seriously! It’s the fu-(garbled)

Voice 2: (speaking to someone else) Says he’s calling from a jar? Doesn’t even make sense.

INVENTORY NOTE: DEAD CLOWN PLATE ROOM REJECT. REASON: “TOO CHEERFUL.”

FINAL IMAGE FROM A ROLL OF FILM LABELED ‘LITTLE TIMMY’S ADVENTURES’